Lyle and Erik Menendez became household names in the early 1990s after being convicted of the brutal murders of their parents, José and Kitty Menendez, in 1989. The brothers were sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole, a decision that captivated America and has remained a point of public fascination.
Despite their notorious crimes and life sentences, both Lyle and Erik Menendez found love and got married while in prison. This article takes a deeper look into the lives of Lyle Menendez and his wives, shedding light on how they navigated life, love, and relationships behind bars.
Lyle Menendez’s First Marriage: Anna Eriksson
Lyle Menendez first met his bride Anna Eriksson in an unconventional way—through letters. Anna, a Chicago-born model who had worked for brands like Lord & Taylor and modeled in Europe during the 1980s, reached out to Lyle during his first trial. In a simple message, she urged him to “hang tough.” This gesture marked the beginning of a correspondence that soon blossomed into a closer relationship.
Anna Eriksson moved to Los Angeles to be near Lyle, and their bond deepened despite the lack of physical contact, given his incarceration. In 1996, Lyle and Anna tied the knot in a proxy wedding over the phone. The ceremony, described in the book The Menendez Murders by Robert Rand, was unique. Leslie Abramson, Erik Menendez’s lawyer, officiated, placing the ring on Anna’s hand while the judge proclaimed the union.
Lyle described this wedding day as the “best day” of his life, even though they couldn’t physically be together. However, their relationship didn’t last long. Just one year later, in 1997, Lyle and Anna split. According to the L.A. Times, the California Department of Corrections did not recognize their union as a legal marriage because it was conducted over the phone. This complicated the validity of their marriage, leading to the eventual breakdown of their relationship.
Lyle’s Second Marriage: Rebecca Sneed
Six years after his divorce from Anna Eriksson, Lyle Menendez found love again. In 2003, Lyle married Rebecca Sneed, a woman who had been his pen pal. Sneed, who worked as a magazine editor, had been in contact with Lyle for years before their eventual marriage.
Their union was confirmed by NBC News in 2003, and despite the challenges of maintaining a marriage without physical contact or conjugal visits, Lyle has spoken fondly of his wife. In a 2017 interview with People, Lyle shared that they speak on the phone regularly, sometimes several times a day. He described their marriage as “steady” and a source of “peace and joy” in an otherwise unpredictable and stressful prison environment.
Lyle also acknowledged the challenges his wife faces due to public judgment. Being married to someone convicted of a high-profile murder brings its own set of difficulties, but Lyle expressed gratitude for Rebecca’s courage and strength in facing these obstacles. According to Lyle, it would have been easier for her to leave, but he remains profoundly thankful that she didn’t.
Erik Menendez’s Marriage to Tammi Ruth Saccoman
While Lyle Menendez has experienced two marriages, his brother Erik also found love while incarcerated. Erik married Tammi Ruth Saccoman in 1999, in a waiting room at Folsom State Prison. Tammi had reached out to Erik through letters while he was serving his sentence. Over time, their correspondence grew, and they formed a close bond.
In interviews, Tammi has shared the emotional journey of being married to Erik Menendez, a man convicted of murdering his parents. She described the experience as very emotional and acknowledged the skepticism she faces from others. Many question why she would choose to marry someone in prison, especially under such grim circumstances. However, Tammi has expressed that Erik provides her with emotional support and that their relationship has helped her through some of the toughest moments in her life.
In a 2005 interview with People, Erik spoke about the profound effect his marriage had on his life. He described Tammi’s love as a significant factor in his decision to choose life in prison rather than becoming a “colder, harder person.” According to Erik, knowing that someone loves him unconditionally has helped him become a better person, and he strives to be the best possible husband to Tammi.
Despite the lack of physical intimacy, Erik and Tammi have found ways to make their relationship work. Erik credits Tammi with teaching him how to be a good husband, even though their interactions are limited to phone calls and visits. Tammi, in turn, considers Erik her best friend and values the emotional support he provides.
Challenges of Marriages Behind Bars
Both Lyle and Erik Menendez have faced significant challenges in their relationships due to their life sentences. The absence of conjugal visits means that their marriages are purely emotional and psychological, lacking the physical closeness that many couples take for granted. However, both brothers have expressed that their marriages bring them peace and emotional support, which have made their lives in prison more bearable.
For Lyle, his relationship with Rebecca Sneed remains a pillar of stability, while Erik has found solace in his bond with Tammi. Both women have had to endure public scrutiny and judgment for their decision to marry men who were convicted of heinous crimes. Yet, they have both remained steadfast in their commitment, offering their husbands love and companionship despite the unique and trying circumstances.
Conclusion
The marriages of Lyle and Erik Menendez reveal a surprising aspect of their lives behind bars. While many may view their relationships as unusual or difficult to comprehend, for the Menendez brothers, these marriages represent a source of comfort and emotional stability. Despite the challenges of maintaining relationships in prison, Lyle and Erik have both spoken about the positive impact their wives have had on their lives.
Their marriages have brought them a sense of peace, joy, and personal growth, even in the harsh environment of prison life. While the world may continue to judge their actions and the circumstances surrounding their relationships, Lyle and Erik Menendez have found a way to make their marriages work, finding love in the most unexpected of places.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Are Lyle and Erik Menendez married?
Yes, both Lyle and Erik Menendez are married. Lyle has been married twice, first to Anna Eriksson and later to Rebecca Sneed. Erik has been married to Tammi Ruth Saccoman since 1999.
2. How did Lyle Menendez meet his wives?
Lyle Menendez met his first wife, Anna Eriksson, through letters during his trial. He later met Rebecca Sneed, his second wife, through correspondence as well.
3. How do the Menendez brothers maintain their marriages in prison?
Both brothers maintain their marriages through phone calls and letters. They are not allowed conjugal visits, so their relationships are primarily emotional and psychological.
4. What challenges do the wives of the Menendez brothers face?
The wives of Lyle and Erik Menendez face public judgment and scrutiny due to their husbands’ notoriety. Additionally, the lack of physical intimacy and the challenges of maintaining a relationship with someone in prison can be difficult.
5. Why did Lyle Menendez’s first marriage end?
Lyle’s first marriage to Anna Eriksson ended in 1997, reportedly because the California Department of Corrections did not recognize their phone-based proxy wedding as a legal marriage.